Victory came at 6:12 p.m. on Day Two of the battle.

Instead of a white flag, my adversary signaled their surrender by displaying an administrator login page in my web browser, indicating that the device I had been struggling to bring up on my home network was finally online.

I will spare you the technical details, just know that the project was exceptionally geeky, completely self-indulgent, and wholly unnecessary.

Still, it was a tough fight, and I was perhaps a little overmatched. Yet I never doubted that I would ultimately prevail.

Superpowers

You see, I have a superpower: when faced with a challenge like this one, I am maniacally, obsessively, doggedly, absurdly relentless.

I become a cognitive honey-badger. When I sink my teeth into a problem like my uncooperative network device, I do not let go. No matter how many blows and setbacks, I hang on tirelessly until even the most stubborn opponent submits.

That moment of triumph when the solution emerges brings a feeling of pure joy. For some—like Martha—dealing with issues like this is abject misery. For me, it’s fun—because it’s my superpower.

It can be quite useful, but superpowers are a tricky thing. While the planet Krypton is the source of Superman’s power, it is also the source of kryptonite, his greatest vulnerability.

It is yet another of those dialectics we’ve been talking about. You cannot have one without the other. Two sides, same coin.

My Kryptonite

All of us have superpowers. Certain things come easily to us where most struggle, things that energize us while depleting almost everyone else. And all of those superpowers carry inside them a unique vulnerability.

Just like Superman’s kryptonite, my affinity for hard technical problems and the ability to struggle with them persistently until they yield comes with downsides:

• My little home networking project hijacked my attention, to the exclusion of all else—including writing this newsletter—for a solid twenty-four hours. I ignored my family, my dogs, and essentially all other responsibilities.
• I struggled to sleep, my mind still racing with potential solutions into the small hours. I became irritable when interrupted. I woke up anxious to get back to it.
• When working on a project like this, I find it nearly impossible to accept “good enough,” even when it really is good enough. It is almost physically painful for me to stop until the solution feels complete.
• I’m not great at seeking or accepting help, for the simple reason that it robs me of the pleasure of figuring it out myself, i.e., the whole reason I stick with hard problems in the first place.
• And I do not discriminate very well. My obsessive problem-solving drive is independent of the nature of the challenge. Sometimes it’s a really important work or life issue. Other times it’s a wholly unnecessary, completely self-indulgent hobby project. There’s only one speed.

All of these things are the opposite of a superpower, but they are part of the deal.

Know Thyself

It is through one simple step that I manage to protect myself from the serious vulnerabilities associated with my particular superpower: I know this about myself.

Through self-reflection, feedback from people I trust, and the school of hard knocks, I am aware of the liability side of this ability.

It is accurately predicted by any number of personality assessments, including my C-style (for Conscientiousness) in the DiSC Model. It is not hard to figure out, if you're willing to look.

Different Styles, Different Superpowers

C-styles like me have a heightened ability to spot flaws, improve systems, and pursue mastery, just the sort of thing one needs to solve hard technical problems.

Analytical thinking, attention to detail, ensuring accuracy, and solving complex problems systematically come naturally.

C-styles excel at critical evaluation, maintaining high standards, and developing methodical approaches to challenges.

Other styles are different, and thus are likely to have different superpowers… and vulnerabilities.

D-style (Dominance)

The D-style can exhibit remarkable courage to push boundaries and overcome resistance. They are naturals at decisive action, driving change, challenging obstacles, and taking command.

D-styles excel at cutting through ambiguity to make quick decisions, tackling challenges head-on, and mobilizing resources toward goals.

Yet if they are unaware of their darker side, they can do so at the expense of other people, who come to be seen as just another obstacle to overcome.

i-style (Influence)

The i-style has a natural ability to sense emotional currents in groups and energize those around them. Inspiring others, building relationships, generating enthusiasm, and creating collaborative environments come easily.

More than other styles, they are able to connect with people, communicate compelling visions, and motivate teams through positivity and charm.

The i-style’s kryptonite is a tendency to overcommit, lose focus, and seek popularity over results. They are vulnerable to feeling rejected when their ideas are not embraced.

S-style (Steadiness)

The S-style’s superpower is creating stability, fostering harmony, maintaining patience, and providing reliable support.

They do so using their gifts of deep listening, consistent follow-through, and creating psychologically safe environments. They have exceptional ability to mediate conflicts, maintain composure during turbulence, and ensure that people feel heard and valued.

Despite these supernatural abilities, the S-style is simultaneously more vulnerable to stress when quick decisions and rapid change are necessary, especially when they involve conflict.

Finding Your Home Planet

Superman cannot change his vulnerability to kryptonite—at least not without giving up his superpowers, since they are part of the same power / vulnerability dialectic.

When he first encountered that strange rock from his home planet, he did not understand what was happening. Until that moment, he had only seen the super side of the power/vulnerability coin, so he was confused by it, a victim of it.

But once he understood what it was, he could develop strategies to deal with it. The key was awareness. The key was self-understanding. He learned who he was and where he had come from.

Similarly, our personalities and their accompanying strengths and weaknesses don’t change much, but we can develop awareness and strategies to maximize our potential (and minimize our suffering), including engaging with and appreciating people who have  complementary styles.

Simple Strategies

As for me, with a more complete understanding of my own superpower / vulnerability dialectic, I can implement some simple strategies manage the downsides:

• I don’t play Wordle, because I know I would attend to nothing else until I solved it each day.
• I force myself to move forward with unknowns and incomplete solutions, because for me, “complete” can take an unreasonably long time.
• I actively seek out people with styles that balance my own, and I ask them for help. (Okay, I don't actually do that, but I’m trying—we’re all a work in progress, after all).

Every strength contains a vulnerability, but every perceived vulnerability also contains a hidden strength. The key is awareness—understanding not just what you're good at, but why, and what it costs you.

This awareness is precisely what tools like the DiSC assessment provide. By illuminating both our superpowers and our kryptonite, DiSC helps us develop strategies that maximize our natural talents while minimizing our blind spots.

What's your superpower? And what vulnerability might be hiding within it?

If you're curious to explore this dialectic in your own work and life, we're here to help you discover and harness these insights.

Until next time,

Greg