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Untangling Immunity to Change: Part 4
Welcome back to our final installment in the Immunity to Change series!
In the previous parts, we defined our Stated Commitment (Part 1), identified our Self-Limiting Behaviors (Part 2), and uncovered our Hidden Competing Commitments (Part 3).
This week, we tackle the fourth and final column of the Immunity Map: Big Assumptions. This is where we examine the unspoken beliefs that make our Hidden Competing Commitments feel absolutely necessary.
Revisiting the Worry Box
Recall that the items in your Worry Box from Part 3 took the form of if/then statements:
IF I do [opposite of self-limiting behavior], THEN [feared outcome].
Your Big Assumption, at its core, is the belief that this if/then relationship is true.
It is the often unconscious conviction that those yucky outcomes in your Worry Box are inevitable if you don't honor your Hidden Competing Commitments by engaging in your Self-Limiting Behaviors.
But is that really true? Are those feared outcomes really guaranteed?
This is where we need to shine a light on our Big Assumption and ask ourselves some hard questions. To do that, we first need to state it explicitly.
Saying Your Big Assumption Out Loud
To articulate your Big Assumption, look at each Hidden Competing Commitment and ask yourself:
What must I be assuming that makes this Hidden Competing Commitment absolutely necessary to avoid the feared outcome?
Stated differently:
If the opposite of my Hidden Competing Commitment were true, what bad outcome, as in big-time bad, would be inevitable?
Let's revisit last week's example. The Hidden Competing Commitment was:
I am committed to prioritizing work over exercise to ensure that I never experience humiliation and financial insecurity.
The Big Assumption behind this might be:
If I prioritize exercise over work, I will inevitably fall behind, and risk losing my job and ending up broke and humiliated. My worth depends on always putting work first.
Again, look at the stakes. Who would risk shame, humiliation, and financial ruin to get in a workout? No one.
Your psychological immune system protects you from harm just as your physical immune system does. Both are brilliant, essential pieces of mental and biological machinery, but neither are infallible.
The Anatomy of a Big Assumption
Big Assumptions should:
- Connect to the fears in your Worry Box, often taking them even deeper.
- Make avoiding the dread outcomes in your Hidden Commitments feel absolutely necessary.
- Have a definitively bad conclusion for you.
- Feel like "just the way it is," displaying a limited view of what is possible.
- Be untested, with little or no actual evidence to support them.
These Big Assumptions are often old. They are like outdated software. They once served a valuable purpose, but they are overdue for an upgrade.
The Testing Phase
That last bullet point above is key. Most Big Assumptions crumble under scrutiny. They are not facts; they are beliefs. And beliefs can change.
Ask yourself:
Is this Big Assumption really true? What evidence do I have that it is actually false? What experiences suggest that the opposite could be true?
In our example:
Have I ever prioritized exercise and still gotten my work done? Do I know anyone who exercises regularly and is also successful in their career? Is it possible my work could improve if I were less stressed and healthier?
Moving Forward
Seeing your Big Assumption for what it is–a belief, not a fact–can be incredibly liberating. It opens up the possibility of choice. You can choose to continue believing it, or not. You can choose to test it and find out if it's really true.
This is the beginning of truly overcoming your Immunity to Change. With your Big Assumption exposed, you can start to envision a world where your Stated Commitment and your Hidden Competing Commitment can coexist.
Usually it takes some self-convincing to truly release that Big Assumption. You can run small, safe-to-fail experiments to begin accumulating new evidence to counter your Big Assumption.
It is often not enough to simply know that your Big Assumption is unfounded. It is the experiential learning of these little experiments that ultimately allows change to move forward.
Yet even then, it is not about eliminating your Hidden Competing Commitments. They have served you in some way and deserve to be honored. But they don't have to run the show anymore. You can find ways to take care of those underlying needs without sabotaging your Stated Commitment, that thing that, from the start, you said was important to you.
Bringing It All Together
With all four columns filled in, your Immunity Map is complete. Take a moment to appreciate the powerful forces you've uncovered, and the courage it took to examine them honestly.
- You are sincere about your Stated Commitment. It really does matter to you. But…
- You find yourself engaging in Self-Limiting Behaviors, either doing things in opposition to your stated commitment, or not doing things that would support it. Yet…
- When you imagine doing the opposite of those Self-Limiting Behaviors, your fears quickly fill up your Worry Box with all sorts of yucky if/then outcomes. You discover that you have Hidden Competing Commitments that are dutifully protecting you from those “inevitable” bad outcomes. You are unable to change because you have one foot on the accelerator, and one on the brake. However…
- When you examine those Hidden Competing Commitments, you find that they are based on Big Assumptions, tightly held, yet unexamined beliefs that are not necessarily true.
This is your Immunity to Change at work: brilliant, but not infallible; rational, but only if your Big Assumptions are true.
Navigating Change
Change is never easy, but with this map as your guide, you are now equipped to move forward with compassion for yourself, appreciation for the complexity of being human, and a new sense of possibility.
Remember, the Immunity Map is not a one-time exercise. As you continue on your change journey, revisit it often. Refine it. Challenge it. Let it evolve as you do.
We hope this series has been helpful in your own growth and development. Remember, you don't have to navigate this terrain solo. We are here to help. We have facilitated dozens of Immunity Maps with our clients, but even more importantly, we use this tool in our own lives, too.
Create a free account on our website to get started. It includes a 30-minute introductory coaching session which can be used to talk about Immunity to Change, plus many other valuable resources.
Until next time,
Greg